melbourne '09

things i loved most about the trip:

1. free postcards with great messages on them available everywhere.
it's where i chronicle my days on. front and back.



2. the melbourne map and the met ticket. that's one ticket for train, trams and busses.
getting lost was fun. hop on and hop off everywhere.



3. how they greet you g'day when you enter their shop. so warm. makes you want to buy the whole shop. i say good skills.

4. the heavenly fries, flowers and hot chocolates everywhere. the cafes on every corner of a street, lane, alley, up two flights of stairs.



5. the cold in winter. just the cold. makes walking for miles easy, no sweat and feels like you're gliding on a skateboard when in fact you're on heels. and the occasional walk in the parks.


6. all kinds of museums, art galleries. Paris Match-australian ballet show & Wicked the Musical. spectacular!





....

reality check: holiday over. work starts tomorrow :)

DOT.

packed to go waltzing

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains;
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror-
The wide brown land for me!

and the shopping will also be for me ;)
i'll be back!

DOT.

persona

can't contain it. sooooooo beyond happy. we've planned and planned for ages, it never seems to go right. then today of all days, out of the blue..it happens.

thank you thank you thank you..hahaha..
happy beyond happy.
expectations achieved. was even better.
duduk sebelah twice..
funny to boot!

owh the butterflies rolling in me tummy when ryhan got the phone call.
and the drive over was insane. could think of nothing else. haha.
the cutest thing. enjoyed it to bits.

oh and 'brother', you're one in a million.

DOT.

breaking down. breaking dawn.

the day i was thinking of you most,
the day i thought maybe we just might find a new start someday,
the day i was certain i'll try no matter what to find your forgiveness,
is the day i find out you've closed the door.
forgive me. please don't leave me.

DOT.

pro-choice

3am and this is what i'm thinking.
the answer to the question that I never really had an answer for. an answer that most often than not, i don't believe to be true the moment it's uttered.

being single.

I'm perfectly happy with how things are going. grateful. complaints only a few. c'est la vie.

and so i think at almost 23 I am entitled to tap into this question of status before I reach the age that I should only be regretting.

see, there isn't really a dream or an idea of a perfect mate.(yes, i'm actually talking about normal people with normal lives not celebrity infatuations or vampire like obsessions). To date, I've never really imagined my wedding dress or how the day will unfold generally or even (like some girly girls) to the very last detail. it just never actually crossed my mind. even when I fancy the pants off a guy, it's the butterflies and the blushing. but no happily ever after bumping around in me head.

seeing friends getting hitched here, there and everywhere. standing in line behind a rather loving looking couple at the supermarket and the constant serving of the question, "when's your turn next?", just gets me everytime. not that i'm bitter or that i hate the idea of love, matrimony and the whole fuss. I don't. In fact I believe in love. I believe in real love. the kind that don't fade with age, looks, bad habits, trials etc. I just think it takes a whole lot more than love to be based on. it's the need for stability and responsibility. most important is the effort & determination to go all the way.

but my problem is, I think i overvalue it. I want to keep it reserved for when it's right. but we never really know what's right until we try. yet, I think I'm still resisting a try.

I may not know love the man-woman kind. but i know love the father-daughter kind, the bestfriend kind, the wishing-hoping kind. all the tragic..i know. coz when you're not in love, you see love all around. so excuse me for keeping that one last kind in reserve until i truly feel good to give and not get hurt too soon.

truth is, i'm scared shitless of wanting and getting what i want.

dare i say it?

"mr. frog, stay in the water until you can play catch and I won't run"


DOT.

a duet

when mommy is your best friend,
some days it's though. some days it's the best.

going from annoyed to pissed, to awkward silence, to i'm sorry, to lets go shopping, to i'm hungry but i don't want to eat so finish my food, to what happened at work, to the mini lectures, to the weirdest of thoughts, to checking out guys, to being vain, to eating well-dressing well, to the things you really don't want your mom to share with you details and can't do nothing but listen, to the bermasam muka, to the dancing, to the singing, to the endless list of mom& daughter adventures.

it's definitely a hell of a roller coaster ride. but i definitely can't imagine life any other way. most times, mommy's little girl. sometimes, mommy's mom. other times her closest pal. all the time, i love you ma.

fuuh~

DOT.

i-talk u-talk

I love it when we talk.
because you just get me. anything and everything sounds interesting.
it really doesn't matter to me if we hardly get a chance to meet.
or that we always plan to get a cuppa but end up on the floor of your room just laughing away at teddies and memories.
or even if we pull all the strength we have after work (or whatever it is we do day in day out) every friday to catch a movie together and just talk LIFE.
or when I so badly need to call you up.
or when it's just plain laughing over silly things on the phone with a promise to meet over the weekends.
or when you're on the other side of the map and an email does it's magic.
i enjoy every bit of it.

DOT.

i had a dream

kami sudah dewasa.
gotta deal with that.

1st year university was an eye opener to all things activism.

2nd year i had a plan. that one day i would set up an organization to feed, to clothe the poor and also to minimize waste.

3rd year. the plan was there. but i wavered. everything was here and there. volunteer work still on. but not so much. there was always other things. like, "me first". just other things.

4th year. everyone you knew who had plans, those plans just changed. those plans slowly got left behind. so did mine.

now that I'm done, I have to figure out a way to get those blueprints out from under the rug and find time to work those plans. after all God did give us 24 hours. 9 to 5 with a little plus minus, still leaves room for a whole lot of extra time gone to waste.

just thanking God, i still remember what small plans i had.

dear ladies

you are beautiful in your own very special way. each one of you. this is for all you ladies i've been blessed to meet, know, love and yet to know. love.



Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
- Maya Angelou

DOT.

err..cakey much?

tips to girls finding real girlfriends.

make sure they tell you when you look fat in a certain choice of clothing.

and when you have BAD makeup on. especially when the foundation goes all wrong. errk!


so, ladies..be nice to ur girls. tell them whats good and whats not. let's not keep our mouths too shut eyh. poor lil' thing.

DOT.

talk to my pillow

there are days when you just enjoy not getting out of bed. oh the fluffy pillows.


then there are days when you wish you could just get out of bed and do something else besides crying your ugly cry.

yesterday, both happened in a day. abang came in and he was poking fun at it all. that's when i cried even more. and oh how horrid i look crying. he said i should save this picture for life. as a reminder, so the vain in me won't allow me to cry no more.


DOT.

070609

This day is blessed..

Bestie got married. she's in love. he's in love. love comes in the most unexpected situations. but it comes. Ryhan and Ilham. happy marriage. proud to see you guys through from the early beginnings to the wedding and together into your future. perfect match! crazy separately.even more crazy together. love loads.


trip to johor was funny. weirdly funny.


picked up hantaran with ry & hany was a smack of reality. "yes..she IS getting married. it's not a joke!"


berinai was a success. of course we had an endless supply of laughing gas and laughed like hyenas. thanx to the crazy combo of atiqah, hany, husna, nusaibah, saqinah & shifa. "CHOICE MATE!"



changing curtains was a battle. cleaning was a given. purchase carpets, for sure. company was entertaining. youtube was a must ;)


pictures aplenty.

food. that's a galore.

ry's family was extremely sweet. love.

nikah was tearful. reception was blessed.

trip home was happy.

sleepless nights? pfft~ every night. even had a nightmare ry's nikah got ambushed by chipmunks. YES! YES! chipmunks!...and this is me NOT being the bride.

and the hot story of the day?

ROGER hubby Federer won the French!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!
yes. kami sudah nikah and i'm the ONE pregnant with his kid. wait for the anniversary. invites to the party will be mailed :P


DOT.

read me

I'm hardly an open book.
someone once told me to open up. share my deepest darkest secrets. share what problems I have going in my head. just so he could know me better.
that, I refused to do. and that was the end of that someone and me. it's not the easiest thing in the world to just cry your heart out to people. especially ones you barely know. these things take time. the more you rush me, the less I give in.

so, if you want to read me..do it slowly. enjoy the adventure, not the story.



DOT.

obssessed with a plan

An obsession over two things: Roger Federer & Manchester United.

yes, tennis and football. the amount of time spent on these obsessions are borderline crazy. but i'm doing just fine. better in fact when sports season are in the works. just convenient in fact that the seasons never clash.




it's good that :

1.I'm unattached

I don't have to worry about upsetting the other half with excessive amount of time spent in front of the TV watching a match till the wee hours of the morning or yapping away about the ball finding it's way into the goal, the strength of a forehand, backhand,drop volley..no need to worry about "honey, when's date night?"

2. I'm a girl

when girls love a game. they love the game. yes, we get all technical with it. no, we don't only watch for the hot sweaty studs on the field or on court. we understand the spirit behind the game. like in football, how strangers hug each other in the stadium in celebration of their team winning. or when spectators applaud in respect and to support the player needing a boost of confidence in a tennis match, and it doesn't matter who you initially came to see play and win. all you want is a good match.

with girls, there's less of the ego stuff guys watch the game with. fight between one team over the other, just because. we don't even need all our besties to watch the game with us. heck, they can even hate football. no biggie. it doesn't also mean that when a girl watches football she ain't girly. she can be the girliest of girls. Guys, they have a problem. if they don't play sports, don't watch sports, they are geeks. not a man. how full of shit can that get. so, i'm with the safer sex.

problem is:

when the time comes one day when i get myself a husband..who isn't much of a football or tennis fan. what will happen if i stay late into the night bundled up on the couch in front of the TV and my side of the bed stays empty. hmmm..his side of the bed better stay empty too. he should get all bundled up asleep on the couch beside me. I'll make sure we come to that agreement at the very least :)

so you see, i have no problems loving the games now or in the future. I just need to find a decent guy willing to get all comfy on the couch when my two obsessions are in season ;D


DOT.

clogged

What happens after 'dreams do come true'?
rule no. 1: roll over, give a little twist and run across town going "yippie yaa yeaay!!"
rule no. 2: repeat no.1

then what?!!?

make up a new dream? dream bigger? stop dreaming? try a different route for the same dream? really, what should happen?

life happens. then shit happens. then, be thankful reality found a way back to you.

i don't believe people when they say they don't have a dream. even if all you want to do is live life a day at a time. no planning. cross the bridge when you get there kind of living. that in itself is already a dream. you dream to be nonchalant. you dream to not fuss. and in this day and age, NO FUSS is hard to get by. At least not when people watch you like a hawk ready to pounce at the slightest sight of an error.

dreams, they may come true for you lucky lots and shatter for the rest of us. but life goes on. so you pick up the shards and thank God your heart is still beating and your breathing. unclog the drains and find the missing pieces. either way, DREAM ON.


DOT.