it's fun reading old text

this one was from a guy i would definitely call a dear friend.

Here be a little card, For a certain Ms. Widaad:

Think of the monsters under your bed
Now fingering through those dastardly plans they've made
To get you, with things, shiny, sharp, and of wicked gleam
As soon as you fall into the world of dreams
But be brave, dear, and tuck away those feelings of fright
Just pull up those covers, and hold them tight
For as long as His hands veil your sight,
I would remain your Knight,
And protect you I will, with honour and pride
And 'til dawn comes to call,
I shall remain by your side
So there, there, dear, sleep well tonight;
For try as they may,
I just won't let them bite.

It's a wonder what jumbles up in that mind of his at times. Part japanese, part englishman..but definitely 100% Melayu.

He was once called clark kent/superman guarding me from losing my cool,
but i lost it anyway when i threw an object at a person who made me confused.
This dude always keeps me amused.
Here's to you may all your dreams come true.


DOT.

a gal having her say

women have fought a long battle to be where we are today. we had to fight intelligently with men to gain our spot at level if not better than men. that we've slowly gained.

The strive doesn't end..

At present, I personally think we deserve to be given more credit than having to have to compete with 'men' trying to be like us. homophobic I am not. Nope, not scared. But i believe in men and women. that's it.

And as much as it's important for women to look somewhere to cross check on their image, there is definitely a line that should not be crossed when it comes to defining beauty. beauty is what is pure and true. it should not be clinical it should not be faux. it should not be skinny models with a desperate need for some burgers, nor should it be a tight forehead craving for some smile lines.

most importantly, women should not realize the importance of taking care of ourselves until it is a little too late. when better to start if not when we're in our prime young years.

magazines & the whole glitsy and glam world should stop with the absurd.



celebrate real beauty with love & friendship.

to the girls and women i know, find some time to enjoy this movie remake if you haven't yet. THE WOMEN.



DOT.

hanging on to your old shirt.

i know my problem!!

i forgive you even when you betray me.
i fear finding a person exactly like you and being betrayed again. then i will forgive even when i shouldn't. i always give face to the idea of counselling. the idea of fixing things when it's broken. you caused my problem. but i still forgive you.

DOT.

define: ...

Daughter : You cannot sell that RV dad! it is what defines you!

Dad : No, nothing else in this world defines me other than you and your mother. The both of you are what defines me!

Now, isn't that the nicest thing to say to a daughter. the man sure knows his priorities. such a good man. so well defined.

I can't define myself yet even if i tried. I wish one day soon i'll be able to.

DOT.

i'll say it like this

when you're down and in need of some support, we're here.
but also know we expect you to be there when you need our support.

there's no excuse in being rude.
shy, maybe yes. but rude, is not tolerable.
and you're pretty confidant you're not shy.
so, be nice to others for a change.

.....

i've been thinking,

maybe a go at psychology could be interesting..hmm..

it's been an interesting monday. a monday minus the madness today.

AH1N1 telah melanda AMbank building and 16th floor of the building where i work and people are not flooding to the Weld for lunch today. apa kes?? got case ke?

DOT.

a simple sign. lightning strike maybe??

no signs of ever meeting you yet.
if i don't meet you in the next 2 years, i'll be moving on.
but what if only when i move on will the person be you? do you get it? lamanye kena tunggu...urgh!
cupid can you just work double triple shifts now please? so we can meet??

DOT.

i'm no workaholic.

i thank god i have mama to talk to everyday on the drive back home from work. all the worries, the stress, the confusion is spilled in the car. once back home, case closed. why bother fussing about it day in day out. we look forward to a new day, new start.

I'd hate work to be my life. work is important. but life should be more than just work. so, playing catch up with friends must be on top of the to do list during weekends. i'm happy that we managed to get ourselves into a white box for a photo shoot that ended up to be one of the best memories to date, with awesome pictures to last a lifetime.



next on the to do list :
i'm finally ready. ready to be lovey dovey, ready to care.

but what if i'm just a little too late.. eerrk!


DOT.

on a serious note

yes i am Malay.
you are Chinese. the one next to you, Indian. we're all fine with that.
but i don't understand the huge fuss about "lain-lain bangsa"?
they are indeed "lain-lain" bangsa. haven't you people heard of statistics, bancian, and the likes? why take it so personally? unless, everyone memorizes the extremely long list of races in malaysia and would love to put their capabilities to the test.

i believe that if it was left to just the people, politics aside, we can live side by side happily like we always have. sure we have our major differences. but isn't that supposed to be more fun and challenging? similarities don't strike a balance. differences do.

all politicians do is try to stroke the fire. burning bridges. making gaps.
why? because they need the rift. it's the only trick left to play. incite fear and people will only trust their own race. all for the sake of survival.
try talking to the next bloke beside you like a human being first before you size them up by the colour of their skin or the language they speak. you just might be surprised how much you have in common.

Race..two ways of seeing it. half full or half empty. you take your pick. then ask yourself, are you being racist or are you being stupid?

DOT.

time spent

i've noticed the long quiet silence more and more lately.
the times when it feels so comfortable to be together but in our own thoughts.
i'm happy with the comfort.
i'm happy.

donning the robe

graduation should be an elevating experience for anyone. it should. but I'm freaking out. maybe it's the balancing act on stage that i must master by next Saturday.
**note to self: will be piling up some books on the head to practice the walk :p

maybe it's the concept of graduating that freaks me out. the one that means I'm officially out of the basic education stage. that responsibilities are looming left right and center. that i should be about done being mom and dad's little girl. (yes. my definition of 'little' includes 23 year old girls). err..no. I think I'll always stay their little girl. hehe.

so, in the spirit of easing my nerves for the graduation. I'm trying to make sense of the whole oversized, not in the least bit flattering robe and hood ala KKK. and the extent of my fun today was...

BOOOOO!!!! WAAAARRRGGGHHH!!! hehehehhehe

DOT.

i'm no tin man

if I could throw away this invisibility cloak that surrounds me, I would.
so tired of being the shoulder. tired of being the composed one. tired of being a shrink. tired of you saying I am who you think I am. I'm not invisible.
i'm only human. i'm allowed to feel.

DOT.

raya dah nak tiba, rendang nogori dah siap

This year, both me and ma are working..
so, timetable for hari raya cooking must not be done at the very last minute as we normally do every year. it's impossible to prepare so much with only a saturday holiday. saturday is booked for soto and the last minute cakes and cookies.

a week away from raya, today..

we made the must have rendang nogori. extra spicy!
slow cook, just like it's done in kampung. minus the log woods lah. just charcoal fire. hehehe.
thing is, we forgot to buy the starter for the charcoal. so abang burnt some rubber bands. toxic!! ma and nen went down. both pening. my guess it was actually fatigue from morning run at the market and here there everywhere looking for the necessities to cook. have to say, i love markets. it's one of the must go to places during travels. every market is different.

anyway, with 2 women down, it was only me in the kitchen healthily chopping and blending the ingredients together. (from mixing the ingredients alone, i had a full on lesson from ma on the health benefits of each spice from jintan to kunyit to lengkuas to...)

Extra spicy please..dried chillies and some cili padi

this is the most important part. all herbs and spices must be blended together correctly!

fire and yucky smoke was put off. then ma burnt some kain buruk to start the fire again minus the smell of rubber. yeay! a healthy bara we got.


loads of santan in..



it took hours to dry the rendang! started at 2pm finished cooking at 10.30pm. phew!

a tradition from daddy's side of the family..rendang nogori

rendang stored! just need to keringkan a bit more come raya morning! yeay!

DOT.

remembering you

seated beside me today was LIFE.

a man and his lady.
preparing to break their fast as they have so many times over.
he asked her for his meds. she reminds him just how much to take.
just the two of them; at peace with life, at peace with the world.
having witness with their now hazy eyes together, youth-mid life crisis-old age
still very much together. very much in love. how lucky.

it was then i remembered how much i miss my grandpa. my totok.
just how much my grandma misses him, i can't probably understand.
how i wish we could all berbuka together just like when i was a kid.
all i know now is i definitely miss you totok.
thank you for spoiling me when i was a kid.
i love you. always.

DOT.

blame it on the chic flicks

conversation took a slight spin over dinner today..

Mama : when you are young all you try to look for is the SPARK. the magic in falling in love.

Me : really? young? all i looked for was a Baldwin like Josh. it's all about the face value when i was 10. hmm..wait. i'm still looking for the same hehe.

don't follow? it's 'Clueless' talk people. ma understood.

well this is the queen of all chic flicks in my book.


and this is JOSH and his CHER



still looking.


DOT.

shoulder to shoulder

Terawih reminds me of school.

back in the days when we used to sit together on the top floor of the surau and wait till it was time for jemaah prayers.
before:

• Subuh, was to catch a little more sleep.
• Zohor, to predict what was cooking at the Dewan Makan
• Asar, was to plan a skip of riadah or to take a short nap after afternoon prep
• Maghrib, we shared some stories and we planned for a quick grab at the canteen. oh and also looking through the holes from above for some sign of crushes.
• Isyak, all ready for bed or some plans to burn the midnight oil.

that said,

everyone at least should go to asrama and learn how to rapatkan saf! coz the saf looks horrible in the masjid sometimes. like today, it looked like someone with gigi rongak. what's so hard about it i don't get. unless of course it feels better to feel a little air between you and the next person. sheesh! not the point please!

DOT.

love thy master

note to self:

enjoy a compliment or two if you must. just don't over indulge.
accept the propositions and reach for the end results. in fact make them better.
there's no such thing as over achieving.
golden rule is to always be grateful and never forget to say thank you.

oh and have a laugh more than once a day.



work is fun. long hours & stress, but fun.

DOT.

avoiding the trash

I was browsing through ikea, harvey norman and barang-barang with mom and granny today. saw people buying things for the house. things they need some they didn't (that is if they took a second to think about it). either way cashing out and putting more things in the house.
purpose: decorate,store, redecorate, more storing.

grams found herself a 'granny' chair that matched

Ever thought of how much stuff lying around in the house that we don't need, really?

earlier this morning i was doing a very fast tidying up of my dressing table alone and i've got a whole normal size plastic bag full of unwanted goods to be thrown out. some trash. others just spoiled or serve no purpose to be kept any longer. sheesh!

living less is living healthy. that's my motto for today.

passing thought --> i'm not too excited at the thought of decorating my own home. buying my own dining table, dinner plates, pots and pans, litter bins, food supply. well at least not anytime soon. guess i'm not ready to start on my own. independence? pfftt. who said i wanted complete independence? i'm sticking to being mum's helper for now.


DOT.

food for the soul

it's Ramadhan!

i'm excited. feels like ages since the last Ramadhan. thankful to God for granting me this opportunity to experience the holy month once again. i'll try my best.

may everyone have a blessed Ramadhan.
Happy fasting!

DOT.

the least i deserve

Dear Anakin,

You are always running away. Even in my dreams. Please explain yourself.

yes. i still dream after so long. not of my own wanting. trust me.


Padme.

19-08-09

Happy birthday to me!

thank you ma & ba for 23 years.
thank you tyaz & shaan for making me feel like a princess always when you both are around.
thank you nen for pampering me.
thank you girls (every single one of you) for being able to know and care for you.
thank you friends for being a part of me.
i love you.

alhamdullillah. i feel blessed.

DOT.

an anansi boy

you went missing for sometime. life took it's course. you got busy, so did I.
I thought I was all fine again. I thought the butterflies were just finding a place to rest before they fly off again with you.
then all of a sudden, you're back. you came knocking (literally) on the door. it feels so natural. so in tune. just that my heart skipped a beat. again. i guess one of the butterflies got stuck. next time you leave please take it away with you.
i hate to think more of it than i can. please. just remain a part of our lives as you have always been. and don't let me make you mean anything more.


DOT. DOT..DOT. please.

a song for every memory

This one's for Freshman Year back in 2004/2005.




for,
the late night talks; the countless experiments with shoes to find which suited us best for the walk around campus; the buka puasa tengah malam; the mee ruski; the night trips to find food; self discoveries, and; all the in betweens.

Thanx & Love.

DOT.

time is our luxury before it ends

never take things for granted.

Malaysia just lost a shining talent that we could be proud of. a person who dreamed of the unity in diversity that we could achieve. she saw talent in the young and the different. the one who dared to be different. who set aside the taunts and the critics of her work because she believed in her dreams and her stories. Yasmin Ahmad, a director, a storyteller, a Malaysian. bless your soul. al-fatihah.

------

never take things for granted.

especially your family and your friends. however busy, however cranky, however tired you get. a simple gesture to them like an email saying "i thought of you" or a simple get together just so everyone can put a little smile and a laugh to their faces, goes a very long long way.
my family and my friends, I love you.

DOT.

bounds

please!!! i need the space. i really don't enjoy you breathing down my neck. or coming too close to my face. yuck!

left early for dinner

japanese buffet was fun.
first time the seasoned and the new got to laugh our hearts out, imitate the lawyers, and just bond over late nights in the office drama, gossips and smart ass topics to the most stupidest of them all.

galv: what's the problem with water in singapore? if don't want to give, just tutup the tap lah!

az's tip for the night : when you're about to get into an argument with a friend, start to talk bout 'sex'. your safe. when in trouble talk sex.


nice one az. i wonder why everyone left the table then? hehehe. i kid. i kid. they continued the talk over some smoke :)

thank god no one got called back to office to work. haha.

DOT.

how was work today?

now that i'm working, i feel like i'm contributing to the conversation. normally it's just ma and abang talking out their problems during work and we'll chip in our 2 cents where we can help. sometimes it's work, sometimes it's dealing with the stress of office politics or just some joke that happened. now, i've got my own set of problems to tell. yeay!

so, yesterday was talking to ma bout my day. eh, no she was telling me bout hers. i was sitting on her work table so i had a view of the road out her bedroom window. when suddenly i saw a car gliding down the hill towards the centre of the road. then it stopped. no lights on or anything. just gliding down. i kept on saying to ma "that car! it's gliding down. that car ma!" but ma couldn't see so she just ignored and we continued talking. around 2 minutes later 2 police cars came with sirens all on and honked at the car in the middle of the road. it was a red kancil. we jumped. i called out to the whole house "got police car outside! there's a car in the middle of the road. Imtyaz go check! I saw it gliding down." both ma and me had a thought. the driver probably had a heart attack and he lost control of the car. so, in baju tido and all we went out of the house, the whole row of neighbours in baju tidur came out. everyone muka pelik. wondering what in the world happened.there was a quiet buzz until one of the policeman said, "orang mane yang park tengah tengah jalan ni?" whilst scrathing his head in disbelief. it was a main road mind you. my abang told the police, "encik, adik saya nampak kereta tu roll down the hill. handbreak tak makan kot." policeman, "tapi handbreak die tarik. kereta ni taknak ganjak saya tolak. nak kate takde parking, banyak."then, a guy came out from one of the houses with kain pelikat yang tak ikat properly and a tshirt, looked like a malaysian harry potter lari2 towards the car and said, "itu kereta saya!". he was so malu, got in the car and speed off. the police was caught dumbstruck. somehow, the car glided down from where he parked. then the whole lot of neighbours started bursting with laughter and shaking their head in disbelief. you could hear them laughing their asses off dalam rumah telling the story. we're still laughing about it today. it looked too much like a Lat comic. very much like what mr. bean would have gone through kinda thing too.

it was a really good laugh for a monday night. it was also great to know that the police in taman tun are freaking efficient. in a buzz they arrive to check on the bizarre and the weird. was really good to be assured that the neighbours are still very concerned too :)

all in all, it was a good monday.
must be because it was ryhan's birthday. hehehe.
so, i didn't get the monday blues :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RY!

DOT.

scale for FUN

how do you measure the stage of life you are in?

I realize, that life can be measured by the books you read. well at least my life.
when it was about having a first crush..archie comics and sweet valley were the aisle of books to visit. but i wasn't much of a valley fan. i was into the young detectives. the famous five. cute!

then i discovered austen's books. mom gave me sense & sensibility to read. but i did not finish that first. i got my own copy of Pride & prejudice and that was my first finished austen. eventually the entire collection and some others about austen or her works just end up to be the most treasured collection or most re-read ones. always good for anytime, any age, any stage i'm in.

then when it was the rise of the hormones..it was a rush towards teen romance. Love stories series. then graduated to real romantic fictions. mum's books every now and then (judith mcnaught, jane feathers etc.), and the chic lits.

as the world shaped in front of my eyes..i flooded my shelves left right and center with political sagas, periodicals, auto bio of world leaders, those smart sounding books on capital market and well 'undercover economics' seemed like the best thing ever written. it was smart. funny. and makes a very civic point across i.e. that we were all fools of others. multi level fools :P

then finally it's the stage where art imitates life or life imitates art. either way, I tend to look for books that gave away answers. well, not answers but similarities. the same problems, the same kind of happiness, emptiness, kinship, loss, tragedy. just to find another voice that I can relate to. to know that I am not the only one who feels a certain way. others have gone through the same and theirs have an ending. that ending could also be yours or you can make it different.to learn from the things written. to find an opinion. to find a connection. to find an understanding.

but today, at a stage of my life where i'm the busiest & most responsible i have ever needed to be, I skipped through all the chic lits and the drama, the politics and the romance. I went straight to science fiction and grabbed a copy of son of a witch and witches on board. because they bring fun. the much needed fun of a world entirely not like ours.

and that's how i measure parts of the so called life :)

ps: i've always wanted to be in a book club. a nice small book club.

DOT.

stop the support group for HATE

i hear LOVE is great.
i see LOVE is great.
i hope LOVE will be great for everyone and anyone. friend or foe.
but those who judge love; any kind of love, should stop judging and find a cure for the hate in your heart.
stop finding faults of others. spend time to look yourself in the mirror. see if you are loved, if you love or your surrounded with love (beware, they could be impostors saying they love).. because, when you have so much hate, what's there to love?

DOT.

baru mula merangkak

how do you know if people love their field of work so much?

1. they should have retired yonkers ago. but no, in and out of the courts they go.

2.they just can't fathom why you bother to take a few months break after graduation before you start to work.

made a visit to uncle & auntie. check on them health and all. no time for the pleasantries. they went straight for the kill. how's work? when was results out? why didn't you start work earlier? what took you so long? what were you doing? try and get work from this lawyer and that. they're good. you'll get loadsa work.

errr...
???!!!!

me: so, how's your health? any better? brought you some nun that you guys like. err..later!!

oh..oh..love ya.

btw, i'm only 3 days young at the job. so, slow and steady please :)

DOT.

saturday day

work is work.
only downside to responsibilities is you get to meet the people you love less and less.
there's never a right time to call, or a right time to meet up. i just hope no one leaves for anywhere far enough that it'll make it impossible to reach. forget internet! forget technology! hugs are different when they come from people you care most.
*excuse me whilst i go back to being an immature child for a bit*

friday night out with hany yesterday was meditation!
no movies for us this time around. i finished for the first time ever a TGI burger! the whole plate was empty!
just talking and laughing. then the mention of the must have topic of the moment- MJ :(
and well, updates. weeheee.
how i love hany that she didn't mind in the least bit i was taking huge glances over at the tv throughout the federer match during our conversations. i heard every single bit hun. just my eyes were roaming one direction. hehe.

momi fara dah dapat 1st nephew! congratulations kakak, abang alimin and the whole fam!

Abang's bday up next week. i almost forgot. gaah! what to get? what to get?

happy weekends x0x0


DOT.

melbourne '09

things i loved most about the trip:

1. free postcards with great messages on them available everywhere.
it's where i chronicle my days on. front and back.



2. the melbourne map and the met ticket. that's one ticket for train, trams and busses.
getting lost was fun. hop on and hop off everywhere.



3. how they greet you g'day when you enter their shop. so warm. makes you want to buy the whole shop. i say good skills.

4. the heavenly fries, flowers and hot chocolates everywhere. the cafes on every corner of a street, lane, alley, up two flights of stairs.



5. the cold in winter. just the cold. makes walking for miles easy, no sweat and feels like you're gliding on a skateboard when in fact you're on heels. and the occasional walk in the parks.


6. all kinds of museums, art galleries. Paris Match-australian ballet show & Wicked the Musical. spectacular!





....

reality check: holiday over. work starts tomorrow :)

DOT.

packed to go waltzing

I love a sunburnt country,
A land of sweeping plains,
Of ragged mountain ranges,
Of droughts and flooding rains;
I love her far horizons,
I love her jewel-sea,
Her beauty and her terror-
The wide brown land for me!

and the shopping will also be for me ;)
i'll be back!

DOT.

persona

can't contain it. sooooooo beyond happy. we've planned and planned for ages, it never seems to go right. then today of all days, out of the blue..it happens.

thank you thank you thank you..hahaha..
happy beyond happy.
expectations achieved. was even better.
duduk sebelah twice..
funny to boot!

owh the butterflies rolling in me tummy when ryhan got the phone call.
and the drive over was insane. could think of nothing else. haha.
the cutest thing. enjoyed it to bits.

oh and 'brother', you're one in a million.

DOT.

breaking down. breaking dawn.

the day i was thinking of you most,
the day i thought maybe we just might find a new start someday,
the day i was certain i'll try no matter what to find your forgiveness,
is the day i find out you've closed the door.
forgive me. please don't leave me.

DOT.

pro-choice

3am and this is what i'm thinking.
the answer to the question that I never really had an answer for. an answer that most often than not, i don't believe to be true the moment it's uttered.

being single.

I'm perfectly happy with how things are going. grateful. complaints only a few. c'est la vie.

and so i think at almost 23 I am entitled to tap into this question of status before I reach the age that I should only be regretting.

see, there isn't really a dream or an idea of a perfect mate.(yes, i'm actually talking about normal people with normal lives not celebrity infatuations or vampire like obsessions). To date, I've never really imagined my wedding dress or how the day will unfold generally or even (like some girly girls) to the very last detail. it just never actually crossed my mind. even when I fancy the pants off a guy, it's the butterflies and the blushing. but no happily ever after bumping around in me head.

seeing friends getting hitched here, there and everywhere. standing in line behind a rather loving looking couple at the supermarket and the constant serving of the question, "when's your turn next?", just gets me everytime. not that i'm bitter or that i hate the idea of love, matrimony and the whole fuss. I don't. In fact I believe in love. I believe in real love. the kind that don't fade with age, looks, bad habits, trials etc. I just think it takes a whole lot more than love to be based on. it's the need for stability and responsibility. most important is the effort & determination to go all the way.

but my problem is, I think i overvalue it. I want to keep it reserved for when it's right. but we never really know what's right until we try. yet, I think I'm still resisting a try.

I may not know love the man-woman kind. but i know love the father-daughter kind, the bestfriend kind, the wishing-hoping kind. all the tragic..i know. coz when you're not in love, you see love all around. so excuse me for keeping that one last kind in reserve until i truly feel good to give and not get hurt too soon.

truth is, i'm scared shitless of wanting and getting what i want.

dare i say it?

"mr. frog, stay in the water until you can play catch and I won't run"


DOT.

a duet

when mommy is your best friend,
some days it's though. some days it's the best.

going from annoyed to pissed, to awkward silence, to i'm sorry, to lets go shopping, to i'm hungry but i don't want to eat so finish my food, to what happened at work, to the mini lectures, to the weirdest of thoughts, to checking out guys, to being vain, to eating well-dressing well, to the things you really don't want your mom to share with you details and can't do nothing but listen, to the bermasam muka, to the dancing, to the singing, to the endless list of mom& daughter adventures.

it's definitely a hell of a roller coaster ride. but i definitely can't imagine life any other way. most times, mommy's little girl. sometimes, mommy's mom. other times her closest pal. all the time, i love you ma.

fuuh~

DOT.

i-talk u-talk

I love it when we talk.
because you just get me. anything and everything sounds interesting.
it really doesn't matter to me if we hardly get a chance to meet.
or that we always plan to get a cuppa but end up on the floor of your room just laughing away at teddies and memories.
or even if we pull all the strength we have after work (or whatever it is we do day in day out) every friday to catch a movie together and just talk LIFE.
or when I so badly need to call you up.
or when it's just plain laughing over silly things on the phone with a promise to meet over the weekends.
or when you're on the other side of the map and an email does it's magic.
i enjoy every bit of it.

DOT.

i had a dream

kami sudah dewasa.
gotta deal with that.

1st year university was an eye opener to all things activism.

2nd year i had a plan. that one day i would set up an organization to feed, to clothe the poor and also to minimize waste.

3rd year. the plan was there. but i wavered. everything was here and there. volunteer work still on. but not so much. there was always other things. like, "me first". just other things.

4th year. everyone you knew who had plans, those plans just changed. those plans slowly got left behind. so did mine.

now that I'm done, I have to figure out a way to get those blueprints out from under the rug and find time to work those plans. after all God did give us 24 hours. 9 to 5 with a little plus minus, still leaves room for a whole lot of extra time gone to waste.

just thanking God, i still remember what small plans i had.

dear ladies

you are beautiful in your own very special way. each one of you. this is for all you ladies i've been blessed to meet, know, love and yet to know. love.



Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.
- Maya Angelou

DOT.

err..cakey much?

tips to girls finding real girlfriends.

make sure they tell you when you look fat in a certain choice of clothing.

and when you have BAD makeup on. especially when the foundation goes all wrong. errk!


so, ladies..be nice to ur girls. tell them whats good and whats not. let's not keep our mouths too shut eyh. poor lil' thing.

DOT.

talk to my pillow

there are days when you just enjoy not getting out of bed. oh the fluffy pillows.


then there are days when you wish you could just get out of bed and do something else besides crying your ugly cry.

yesterday, both happened in a day. abang came in and he was poking fun at it all. that's when i cried even more. and oh how horrid i look crying. he said i should save this picture for life. as a reminder, so the vain in me won't allow me to cry no more.


DOT.

070609

This day is blessed..

Bestie got married. she's in love. he's in love. love comes in the most unexpected situations. but it comes. Ryhan and Ilham. happy marriage. proud to see you guys through from the early beginnings to the wedding and together into your future. perfect match! crazy separately.even more crazy together. love loads.


trip to johor was funny. weirdly funny.


picked up hantaran with ry & hany was a smack of reality. "yes..she IS getting married. it's not a joke!"


berinai was a success. of course we had an endless supply of laughing gas and laughed like hyenas. thanx to the crazy combo of atiqah, hany, husna, nusaibah, saqinah & shifa. "CHOICE MATE!"



changing curtains was a battle. cleaning was a given. purchase carpets, for sure. company was entertaining. youtube was a must ;)


pictures aplenty.

food. that's a galore.

ry's family was extremely sweet. love.

nikah was tearful. reception was blessed.

trip home was happy.

sleepless nights? pfft~ every night. even had a nightmare ry's nikah got ambushed by chipmunks. YES! YES! chipmunks!...and this is me NOT being the bride.

and the hot story of the day?

ROGER hubby Federer won the French!!! WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!
yes. kami sudah nikah and i'm the ONE pregnant with his kid. wait for the anniversary. invites to the party will be mailed :P


DOT.

read me

I'm hardly an open book.
someone once told me to open up. share my deepest darkest secrets. share what problems I have going in my head. just so he could know me better.
that, I refused to do. and that was the end of that someone and me. it's not the easiest thing in the world to just cry your heart out to people. especially ones you barely know. these things take time. the more you rush me, the less I give in.

so, if you want to read me..do it slowly. enjoy the adventure, not the story.



DOT.

obssessed with a plan

An obsession over two things: Roger Federer & Manchester United.

yes, tennis and football. the amount of time spent on these obsessions are borderline crazy. but i'm doing just fine. better in fact when sports season are in the works. just convenient in fact that the seasons never clash.




it's good that :

1.I'm unattached

I don't have to worry about upsetting the other half with excessive amount of time spent in front of the TV watching a match till the wee hours of the morning or yapping away about the ball finding it's way into the goal, the strength of a forehand, backhand,drop volley..no need to worry about "honey, when's date night?"

2. I'm a girl

when girls love a game. they love the game. yes, we get all technical with it. no, we don't only watch for the hot sweaty studs on the field or on court. we understand the spirit behind the game. like in football, how strangers hug each other in the stadium in celebration of their team winning. or when spectators applaud in respect and to support the player needing a boost of confidence in a tennis match, and it doesn't matter who you initially came to see play and win. all you want is a good match.

with girls, there's less of the ego stuff guys watch the game with. fight between one team over the other, just because. we don't even need all our besties to watch the game with us. heck, they can even hate football. no biggie. it doesn't also mean that when a girl watches football she ain't girly. she can be the girliest of girls. Guys, they have a problem. if they don't play sports, don't watch sports, they are geeks. not a man. how full of shit can that get. so, i'm with the safer sex.

problem is:

when the time comes one day when i get myself a husband..who isn't much of a football or tennis fan. what will happen if i stay late into the night bundled up on the couch in front of the TV and my side of the bed stays empty. hmmm..his side of the bed better stay empty too. he should get all bundled up asleep on the couch beside me. I'll make sure we come to that agreement at the very least :)

so you see, i have no problems loving the games now or in the future. I just need to find a decent guy willing to get all comfy on the couch when my two obsessions are in season ;D


DOT.

clogged

What happens after 'dreams do come true'?
rule no. 1: roll over, give a little twist and run across town going "yippie yaa yeaay!!"
rule no. 2: repeat no.1

then what?!!?

make up a new dream? dream bigger? stop dreaming? try a different route for the same dream? really, what should happen?

life happens. then shit happens. then, be thankful reality found a way back to you.

i don't believe people when they say they don't have a dream. even if all you want to do is live life a day at a time. no planning. cross the bridge when you get there kind of living. that in itself is already a dream. you dream to be nonchalant. you dream to not fuss. and in this day and age, NO FUSS is hard to get by. At least not when people watch you like a hawk ready to pounce at the slightest sight of an error.

dreams, they may come true for you lucky lots and shatter for the rest of us. but life goes on. so you pick up the shards and thank God your heart is still beating and your breathing. unclog the drains and find the missing pieces. either way, DREAM ON.


DOT.